Not To Be Served, But To Serve...

Happy Mother's Day 2011 to all you wonderful moms out there!  I hope that each of you were blessed today and that you had an opportunity to reflect on the amazing gift of being a mother.

This title, Not to be Served, but to Serve, is what was written on the marquis of my dad's church when I was growing up in Austin.  Somehow, even as a young girl these words seemed to resonate with me.  They still do today.  There have been several occasions when I thought I might blog using this title, but it didn't really seem to fit until the pieces finally came together today.  Our pastor gave a sermon today that allowed me to complete the puzzle, so to speak.  He gave us 3 points to think about as followers of Christ, and spoke directly to the moms in the congregation.  In doing so, I recalled the words not to be served, but to serve and easily applied them to each of his 3 points.  These are listed below, with some of my own commentary....

1. Live before your children a life that becomes the Gospel.  From this I took away that as a mom, my purpose is not to be served by my children, but to serve them.  I mean this loosely...not that I am there to wait on them hand and foot, not that I am to lose who I am so that I can be everything to them, and not that I forget about parenting and disciplining and teaching, but that I am to show them the way.  I am to serve them, by serving as He would.)
2. Lift up Christ with your life.  Only one King can be served...who is it for your life? (As a follower of Christ I am here not to be served by Him, but to serve Him...1st.  This one really makes me take a look at myself and reflect on how well I am doing.  Have I made Him 1st?  And if I say I have, do I live that?  Then there is the accountability I have for my children.  Am I teaching them to do the same, to put Him 1st?  Am I an example of what to do, or perhaps, what not to do?)
3. Shine light on Christ with your life.  In Him, through Him and with Him, be a light unto others and myself, such that through me, others see Him....Not for my glory, but for His.  All Glory, Laud and Honor, to you Redeemer King.  I love the words to that hymn...now if I can just be sure to always and in all ways put those words into action.

Deep thougths on this Mother's Day, but happy, blessed and thankful ones as well. 

Blessings!

A New Journey ~ Joint Journaling

For the past 19 months a group of 10 to 11 moms has gathered every Tuesday to share in our journey of motherhood.  This group is amazing and from these ladies I have learned an incredible amount about mothering, being a friend, sharing, discovering joy and most importantly I have learned about God's intent for me as a mom.  We have studied a number of books and have shared countless ideas with one another on every subject a woman can think of, but mostly in regards to our kids.  One of the neatest ideas we came across was to share a journal with your child.  I didn't come up with this, but I think I may be on to something by using it with my girls.  For Easter I gave each of them a journal and told them that it is meant to be used between them and me and their daddy.  Now I know we are only a few nights into this, but I sure am enjoying it.  (At least with my youngest two...ages 8 and 9...I see I am going to have to initiate the journal writing with my oldest, age 11) 

Here is how it is working.  They write something in it...a question, a thought, a problem or a prayer and we respond.  If it is left by my bedside I know I am to write in it, and if it is left by my husband's then they want him to write.  So far I have discovered that my middle one is concerned about when she will get to see her grandparents again, and my youngest really wanted to know what we were having for dinner...but beyond that she wrote what her prayer for me is.  (I am not sure how those two topics go together, but they were both on her heart and I am so glad she shared them with me.) 

I am not sure how long this will last, but I am taking the opportunity to make sure that each time I write, that they know that we love them and that God is guiding them and loves them, too.  Somehow, some way, there is always and opportunity to bring Him into it in a positive way.

Ask me in a week how it is going, but for now I can't wait to read their journal entries and respond in turn!

Blessings!

Lessons Learned on the Mountain

What a great Spring Break we had!  We packed up the minivan and trekked across a couple of states to the beautiful town of Crested Butte, Colorado.  What made it even more fun was we were traveling with friends and all 15 of us stayed in the same condo for the week. 

As we headed out to ski each day, I knew that I needed to strap on my positive attitude for the ride.  Don't ever tell my children, but I don't like skiing much.  It really isn't the skiing part so much, as long as I am on a nice wide open green or easy blue.  When it comes to going a little faster than I am comfortable with though, I get a little frustrated!  Bottom line is...I am not a very good skier.  In fact, I can't keep up with my kids, much less my husband.  (Perhaps it has something to do with the fact I learned to ski on Mount Aggie while at TAMU.  Or possibly it could have something to do with the fact I never took a true skiing lesson.  Or maybe it just has to do with the fact I really am not a dare devil, at all.  As much as I would like to say that I am a risk taker...I am not.)

So as I talked to my husband about my lack of skill and how I didn't like not being able to help my kids out there very well he said, "We think of it differently.  I see it as a learning opportunity."  How right he is.  There are so many lessons to be learned on the mountain, both for me and my kids....things like:

• Perseverance....the only way to get down the mountain, is to point your skis down the mountain.  Giving up will get you nowhere and leave you feeling even more frustrated. 
• Patience...with self and others.  Learning something new or tackling something that doesn't come naturally helps us to grow.  Without patience we stifle the growth process.
• Gumption...sometimes you just have to try, get up the nerve and put yourself out there.  It takes courage!
• Team work...It is OK to ask for help along the way.  Working together builds relationships and allows for a sense of camaraderie. 
• Faith...This is the most important one, I think.  We must have faith in ourselves and faith in God.  This one was very clear to me as the winds picked up one day and I was skiing with my 7 year old and our 15 year old friend.  We experienced heavy winds and were either blown down or rendered immobile, finding it difficult to get our skis back under us and continue.  The wind was blowing so hard that ice was pelting us.  Thinking it would be easier to follow a green "road" down the mountain, a the few of us left the rest of the group and started making the slow, winding trek down.  The problem was, the winds were awful.  At one point, when we again could not make further progress, I stopped to shelter my daughter from the wind and ice beating against her and our friend came back to shelter us both.  (Let me interject that this is one of the most compassionate, incredible young men that we know and I was so grateful for his courage and strength of character.  His parents are dear friends of ours and I have so much to learn from them, as they are doing an outstanding job in raising their 3 children.)  After a few minutes we started going forward again, and as soon as possible we found a run that would lead us more quickly down the mountain and out of the winds.  As we were stopped on that mountain I will tell you that I said many prayers.  I had to have faith that we would get down and faith that He was with us.  It was a bit harrowing and I don't want to repeat that experience again, but if I ever do, I will try to again rely on faith.

Is skiing my favorite vacation activity?  No, but do I need to do it for myself and my children.  Absolutely.  My husband is right...it is one giant learning opportunity.  So many positives come from it and I just need to have faith and all of the rest will work itself out.  It did this year, and I will go skiing again when the opportunity arises.  And I will thank God for it, too.

How was your Spring Break and what learning opportunities did you experience?  What got you through them?  Just wondering...

Blessings and Happy Spring!

Utlizing Your God Given Talents...

Have you ever wondered whether what you are doing in life is what you are supposed to be doing in life?  That is a loaded question, I know.  There is no doubt in my mind that as far as motherhood goes, I may not be doing everything right, but I am doing it with all my heart.  I KNOW that it is what God wants me to do...to be the best mother I can be.  But what about the other parts of me?...The other parts that have been provided with other gifts that should be used, in my mind, to glorify Him. 

Coming from the perspective of a Human Resources professional, I can give countless examples of people who truly are fulfilling their God-given talents, and I can give you countless examples of others who seem to be just going through the motions.    In Stephen Covey's book, The 8th Habit, his sequel to The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, he basically says that the 8th Habit is to find your own voice and help others to find theirs.  (Although he takes a whole book to say this, whereas he fit the 7 other habits into one nice package.)  So this makes me wonder, what is MY voice?  Have I found it?  Am I floundering with it, projecting a little bit of sound, or singing at the top of my lungs?  Can others hear it?  Is the message I am sending meanigful to me?  Is it meaningful to my audience?  Is it glorifying Him?

One of my favorite sayings is "Do what you love.  Love what you do."  This goes right along with finding your voice.  So I ask further questions...

• What unique talents has God given you?
• Are you utilizing them?
• Are you making time to nurture the parts of you, outside of motherhood, that make your voice unique?

Just pondering....

May you be filled with His love and share that with others in your own, unique, God-given way!

Blessings,
Beth

Happy Valentine's Day!

So today is Valentine's Day and I am wondering what the day has in store for my 3 girls.  I can't help but wonder what future Valentine's days have in store for them, too.  As the parents of 3 daughters I was telling my husband yesterday that it is important for him to model the behaviors that I hope they will come to expect in the guys that will be interested in them in the future.  I was trying to say that although he may feel Valentine's Day is a commercial holiday, fabricated for the benefit of businesses everywhere (which may be true), it is still important for guys to show their love for girls on that day.  (and every other day, but on that day, too.)  This was not a ploy for my own Valentine's gift....really.

My favorite verses, and probably the one that is read at 90% of weddings, is from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.  Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  Love does not demand its own way.  Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.  It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 

The above make me think.  How much am I modeling this for my girls and my husband?  How much do he and I model this together for them?  What expectations are we creating in the girls, and are they positive or negative?

I do know this...I will try my best to make Valentine's Day special in our home.  I don't mean anything extravagant.  We started with heart paper plates and napkins this morning, with muffins (box mix, not from scratch) shaped like hearts, too.  Tonight we'll end around the formal dining table, eating a nice meal by candlelight.  Each family member will find a special Valentine message under his/her plates.  It isn't much, but honestly, it doesn't take much to say "I love you", does it?

How are you spending your Valentine's Day and what are you doing to model His love in your homes, today and every day?

Your sanctuary...

Last April I embarked on what one might consider a very small endeavor.  I redid our master bedroom.  Unbeknownst to my husband, I hired a handy man to rip out an old, built-in vanity, patch the walls and paint them.  I bought a couple of pieces of furniture and a new comforter, and rearranged the room a little.  This was done with the help of a small army of dear friends over the course of 4 days, while my husband was out of town.

I tell you this, not to say that I accomplished some giant feat, but to encourage you to think about your sanctuary.  We, my husband and I, did not have a sanctuary.  I not so affectionately called our bedroom the "dumping ground".  Having a home with little storage space, and not being the most organized people in the world, we had the tendency to use our bedroom as a storage house for paperwork, good-will items, old electronics, etc.  You get the picture, I think.  It was not a pretty, inviting, warm, or comfortable one.

I looked in the Bible for instruction on how to make a house a home; however, I really didn't find much.  Perhaps this is because I am no Biblical scholar and really didn't know where to search other than looking for verses in the back of the book that led me to house or home.  Only two verses did I find to be somewhat applicable.  The 1st is from Proverbs 14:1.  It reads...A wise woman builds her house; a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.  The second is from proverbs 24:3.  It reads...A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.  It is a blessing that I have wise friends, friends much wiser than I in these matters, with whom I was able to consult about my miniature remodel.  Through their knowledge, advice, physical labor and wisdom, I was able put a bit more strength in the foundation of my home.  It may seem like a small thing, but I truly believe that it is important to have a sanctuary. 

In talking with a friend about this last night, she said she instituted a rule at her home that no children's toys are allowed in her room.  (Her boys are 3 and 6.)  What a smart and simple rule.  It helps to keep her room in order and helps her children respect that Mommy has a space to call her own. 

Another tip that a friend shared with me that I took to heart is to make sure that your children do have a place to BE in your room.  Whether you allow them to sprawl out on the bed, sit on a bench or a chaise lounge, or have a rocking chair in the corner with a reading light nearby like I do, I think it makes sense to have a simple space where the kids feel welcome.

Take a look around your space...the one you and your husband share together, or that you call all your own if you are a single mom...and be honest with yourself. Do you like what you see? Do you wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and have a sense of peace with your room? If so, that is wonderful! It is a magnificent feeling, and I would love to hear any suggestions you have for creating and maintaining such a place.  If not, what small or big changes can be made to make your room a place you want to be?

As always...all suggestions are welcome!

Blessings,
Beth

Learning from the innocence of children

The other night my youngest two (ages 7 & 8) and I made a quick trip to Walmart.  Just outside the front doors, seated facing towards the store, was a woman.  She was leaning against a post and in her arms was a child wrapped in blankets.  The little girl looked to be a bit younger than my two.  As I hurried past them, my girls stopped to read the sign she was holding.  Just as the girls came into the store with me another woman, exiting Walmart, handed the woman and her child a gallon of milk.  Before we began to shop the girls wanted to know who the woman and child were, what they were doing out there on a cold night, why the other lady gave her milk, etc.  What an opportunity this was for a couple of life lessons.  (Ironically, our pastor had talked about taking care of the least and the lost just the week before this.)  The thing is, the lesson didn't need to be learned by my girls, it needed to be learned by me.

As I was trying to get my words together to answer their questions.  My middle one said, "Momma, she has 5 children."  As I was hurrying along, my girls were reading the sign the woman held.  As I was hurrying along, they were trying to understand this woman and her situation.  As I was hurrying along, my children were empathizing with the woman and her child.  My thoughts were nowhere as noble, genuine or kind.

Seeing the concern from them, we talked a little about what she might need most and determined we could at least purchase a loaf of bread for her and her child.  It was such a small item, yet as my middle one handed it to the woman, upon exiting the store, the woman offered her God's blessings.  The sincere thankfulness and humbled look in her eyes is something I hope I will not soon forget.

That night as we said prayers before bedtime, my youngest prayed for the woman and child.  My oldest heard the story that evening as well, and she, too, went to sleep with a feeling of unease for this poor family.

Reflecting now, I wonder what if that woman had been me?  How would I have felt with people, like myself, rushing past in an attempt not to see?  How would I have felt being in the woman's situation, asking for help, with few, if any, bothering to listen, much less provide assistance?

It leads me to question further.  What can I learn from my children in this?  Somehow, they understand what Jesus said when he told us to take care of the lost and the least.  Yet, I, as the adult and their mom, somehow didn't have the sense of this.

As a result, we'll be looking for opportunities as a family to care for others this year.  Not just family and friends, but also strangers...

In what ways are you already doing your part to give to the least and the lost?  In what ways can you do more?  I'd love to hear your suggestions....

In Him,
Beth